In light of my 40th birthday, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about my life and where I’ve been and where I’m going. I suppose you could call it a midlife crisis (hey, I already bought the slightly-unreasonable car!).
I feel stuck and unhappy, but I can’t really put my finger on what it is that’s driving me mad.
I still don’t have the answer to this, obviously, but it’s been on my mind, and so some things I read ring differently, because they speak in some way to what I’m going through right now.
Of any of it, this is not (I think) a large piece of the puzzle. But it’s there. And it’s about the advice my mom gave me so many years ago “You can’t change someone else, you can only change yourself”.
From happiness-project.com:
“I used to have a self-congratulatory habit, when I did something nice for our household, of telling myself, “I’m doing this for the Big Man,” or “I’m doing this for the team.” Like I was so generous and thoughtful and giving. Then I’d be angry if no one oohed and aahed over what I’d done.
Now, however, I tell myself, “I’m doing this for myself. This is what I want.” I want to send out Valentine’s cards. I want to clean out the kitchen cabinets. I want to make homemade Mother’s Day presents.
This sounds selfish, but in fact, it’s less selfish, because it means I don’t expect praise or appreciation from anyone else. No one else even has to notice what I’ve done.” — Gretchen Rubin
I hear you.
There are other tasks that need undertaking to bring my current ennui back to my normal … what is normal? 🙂
But being OK without anyone noticing that I’ve done something awesome… it’s a start.